You’d think being born and raised in southern Arizona that I would welcome the first few chilly mornings as summer fades to fall. When the air is crisp, the trees begin to change and it becomes time to add an extra blanket to the bed. Cooler days are ahead. In actual life these mornings leave me filled with anxiety. I am now living in Utah.
In Utah the first few chilly mornings mean temperatures in the teens are just around the corner, everything green, beautiful and blossoming will soon be brown and dead and it becomes time for not only an extra blanket on the bed, but a Parka on your body. 24 freaking 7. The thought of this sends shivers down my spine and not just because am terrified for what’s to come, but because I can quite literally feel icicles forming on my skin. To my credit I am doing much better in year 4 than I did in year 1, but being cold is terrible and fall is an indication that near death is close.
During the summer months life is exploding all around me. Trees, flowers, grass, gardens. People come out of hibernation, shed their layers and are outside, in the parks, the pool, taking walks, riding bikes. There is the sweet, comforting chirp of the katydid at night. Tanned skin, tank tops and bikinis. Lake trips, backyard BBQs, and ice cold cocktails. Ahh… I can feel the sunshine and happiness now. Then BAM!
It’s a heavyhearted hello to jeans, boots, sweaters, long sleeve shirts, scarves, wool jackets, beanies, gloves, all the clothes really. Anytime I leave my house, an extra 20 minutes becomes necessary. 10 to scrape snow off my car and 10 to add to my drive which is now at 12 MPH with sweaty palms and a death grip on my steering wheel because I can’t see shit and the roads are covered in snow and ice. 6 months of lifeless fingers and toes. The soothing sound of the katydid is now gone and has been replaced with snow plows and sadness.
Anticipation of this misery makes fall an anxiety ridden time. However, there are 2 things that keep me having a complete and total nervous breakdown. Pumpkins and Bill. We will start with pumpkins. Yes, I am a basic bitch. I love pumpkin. My heart skips a beat when I walk into Trader Joe’s during the fall. If it weren’t for the other patrons shopping I would burst into song. I Love You Always Forever by Donna Lewis at the top of my lungs. It’s likely that the song would be accompanied by some hip shaking and hand swaying. One fall I bought like 8 pumpkin spice creamers and put them in the freezer so I didn’t have to say goodbye during the winter. It’s possible that being a basic bitch is an illness for which I am not seeking a cure.
The other thing keeping me at least bordering sanity is Bill. He adores fall. It is his most favorite time of year. Not only does he love the weather, but also that it signifies the beginning of another football season is now upon us. Weather and football, two points we don’t see eye to eye on. Nonetheless seeing that smile and feeling his happiness during fall makes it worth the extra layer of clothes.
As I write this it’s 5 am on September 1st so that means I still have 21 whole days of summer left. And I will cling to my tank tops, sunshine and joy for as long as I can in hopes of delaying the inevitable anxiety in my near future.
A Pinch of Opinion 